Stepping Out

How do people with 3 plus kids leave the house? With our two, a short trip to get groceries necessitates multiple bags and all sorts of gear...climbing Mt. Everest wouldn't require as much sh**.

Just to give you an idea of how we roll these days:

The kids get a preemptive diaper change right before we head out. I pack a cooler bag with a bottle and expressed breastmilk for Moo. For Pig, we bring a sippy cup of water, her snack trap cup filled with crackers or cookies, her plastic utensil case with spoon and spork, a meal just in case, and a bib. K chases Pig around. I go up to her room to get a fresh pair of socks and a jacket or sweater just in case. Pig runs around turning the tv on and off while K tries to get her shoes and hat on her. K puts Moo into his infant car seat. Moo gets pissed, mutters unhappily for awhile and then busts out yelling. I clip a pacifier to his harness, put an extra blanket around him. Pig tries to jam the pacifier into Moo's yelling mouth. We thanks Pig for her efforts but insist that Moo would prefer us to do it. K takes both kids and loads them into the car. Moo is still yelling. I grab the diaper bag, cooler bag, baby bjorn, and highchair cover on my way out. We make sure we have the right travel gear in the trunk, stroller for Pig and snap and go frame for Moo's car seat. We pull out of the driveway...yup, Moo is still pissed.

The other day, we went out to a Japanese place for dinner. We try to do early dinners (5-ish) to avoid a long wait and to get home in time for Pig's "sleepy time." K gave Moo a bottle while I shoveled miso soup, rice and broiled eel (Unaju) into a cranky, hungry Pig. After 1 hour of trying to feed Pig with chopsticks and keep her from throwing her water cup onto the floor, standing in her high chair and grabbing things off the table, we were spent. I had spit up on my shoulder, rice, soup, and water all over my pants. We should've had the theme song from the Benny Hill Show playing. I joked with K that we ought to swaddle Pig with a tablecloth, that's how I keep Moo from getting overly fresh during his feedings. I'm a big proponent of swaddling. I say we swaddle adults as well. I have a patent pending for the Husband Swaddler, the garment that keeps your significant other from kneeing or elbowing you in his sleep and allows you to easily roll him onto his side when the snoring gets too loud.