Pig - 4 months

15 lb 10 ozs, 26 inches

Mommy 24/7

Sometimes I wish that I could a brief break from Parenthood, nothing too long, maybe 5 minutes so that I can gasp for a little air. Not that I don't love Pig, I can't imagine life without her. I hate not being to wake up to her little smiling face. However, lately the worrying is consuming my every waking minute...with the insomnia I'm experiencing, that is getting to be most of the day.

So Pig's first day of day care was today. Luckily, she spent one week with her Nanas as a transition period. This ended up being a great arrangement because I got to see how Pig handled not being nursed during the day. She was ok...until she got tired, then she became angry square. But at least she was with family members who were willing to hold her as long as necessary.

I spent the weekend getting Pig ready for day care. I felt like it was out back to school shopping. I packed her clothes, bibs, ointment, wipes, and diapers and went shopping for a cooler bag to store her milk and Nuk nipples. We've decided that K will drop Pig off and I will pick her up. I'm glad not to do drop off because I think I'd feel like shit the entire way to work if she cried. Sigh, I miss my baby. I enjoy not being in my pajamas all day but it'll take awhile before I get used to not being with Pig all day.

So here's our schedule from now on!

4:30 am - I wake up and pump
5:00 am - 6:00 am - Get dressed and get my pump and lunch packed
6:00 am - Drive to station and board commuter train
7:00 am - 12:00 pm - Work, work, work
12:00 pm - 1:00 pm - Pump
3:00 pm - Leave work and head to train station
3:30 pm - Board train
4:00 pm - Drive to daycare and pick up Pig
5:00 pm - Nurse Pig
6:00 pm - Dinner!
7:00 pm - Hand Pig over to K and get bottles ready for tomorrow
8:00 pm - Pump, Shower, K puts Pig down for the night
9:00 pm - Sleep, Pig willing!

Back to the grind soon, booo.

Pig and I are back from LA. The day we left it was sunny, 70 degrees with a slight breeze, my favorite...how very cruel. The trip back was great, Pig after some grumbling at the airport fell asleep for 3.5 hours, huzzah! Luckily the trip lasted only 4.5 hours so I only had to entertain a baby with the attention span of a flea for an hour. JetBlue is an awesome airline when flying with kids, when I saw the spacious changing table I felt such a warm glow that some wonderful person thought to put it in, really it made me want to be a better woman.

The trip there....well it kinda sucked in the beginning. Didn't know what to expect, I thought the minute we started the ascent Pig would become the angry square. So the minute we sat down, I slung the hooter hider around my neck, pulled Pig onto my lap and started what I thought would be a nice leisurely feed. Hahaha, I laugh now at my naivete. I hadn't thought that Pig wouldn't want to stay under the hooter hider, in fact it ended up being a freaking peep show, what with me struggling to keep Pig and my bared boob under the cover and Pig flipping it open like a tent. I'm sure the flight attendants enjoyed seeing both me and Pig under the cover together at one point, Pig grumbling and me muttering "you need to calm down and eat, owww, stop scratching mommy, hey stop flipping that open!" After awhile Pig settled down and fell asleep but kept waking up because we happened to be sitting next to the lav. Why or why do people have to drink and eat so much on a plane. Everytime the door was banged shut Pig woke up started and angry. I just wanted to stand up at one point and kick down the door, maybe an open toilet would have people thinking twice before they requested that third can of coke.

So I'm back to work next week, booooo. Hate to think about leaving Pig. I know she'll be fine but I'm sure like most first time moms, I feel like I'm the only one who can soothe her if she becomes an angry square. What is this angry square you ask? When Pig gets mad, she scrunches her chin down onto her chest and her face magically becomes square shaped. It was pretty amusing to hear my mom say to her from the other room, "wait a minute, what are you doing, stop turning into a square, there's nothing to be angry about" almost like she was a little transformer changing shape in order to kick some ass.

Friday I'm in Love

Today was supposed to be poo-day for Pig. She's been squirming under the growing pressure of gas collecting in her tum tum and she's been releasing it slowly. I can attest to this as my child has been dutch oven-ing me all damn day. But so far, nada. Which of course means that the poo which is pretty explosive to begin with has now been upgraded to Krakatoa. Thank goodness for the weekend, I'll have K's help with cleaning up our poo covered child.

So Pig and I are going to sunny LA on Monday for a lovely 2.5 weeks, wheee! Poor baby has been trapped indoors most of the time she's been on this earth so it'll be awesome to finally have her breathing fresh air and looking up at sunny skies and green leafy trees! And yes, you haters, the air will be fresh, it's been raining all week in LA so all the smog has washed away.

...so Pig and I have to fly together...alone. I was hoping our first flight would be with tag teaming effort with Papa Pig. Now Pig is pretty good, especially during the day, you give the chick her milk, burp her good and she's happy to hang out, a little whining here and there but nothing difficult. And I've heard that most babies do pretty well on flights because the humming and murmuring on the plane provides the white noise conducive to a massive nap. The key being that you get her through the ascent and descent properly. You botch that up and you might as well throw yourself off the plane. Because I'm hoping to avoid pumping on board, my plan is to start nursing Pig the minute the plane starts moving. She usually feeds for 1.5 hours at a time so we should be good. Then when she falls asleep I'll pop her into her carseat and then kick back and watch my tv courtesy of JetBlue. Read on one parenting message board that bottlefeeding can backfire especially if you have a milk guzzler (which I do) and you've got a long ascent or descent ahead of you.

Awakenings

Pig is talking...ok not really talking, more like babbling, but it's still incredible to behold. It started suddenly a few days ago, she looked up and said "ah-goo goo goo."

Some more firsts:

• Lots and lots of cooing
• Raising her eyebrows
• Laughing out loud in reaction to something PP or I did
• Lip smacking (really loud, thought she was choking on something at first)
• Some yelling "ack!"

For a few weeks now, Pig has been drooling alot and sucking on her fists. At first I thought it was her hunger cues but some spitting up led me to realize that was not the case. Then I started thinking, hey I wonder if she's teething...but at 8 weeks? Too early. Then the fussiness started. She will not nap in the afternoon. Usually a nice warm meal, some rocking and she's out, at least for 30 mins. Now, no way. She's a big time tease. She'll start with that even sleeping breathing and so I start the tiptoeing up to her crib to put her down. On my way back downstairs, she starts to stir and ladies and germs, she's back up and yelling. The only way she'll sleep is if I nurse her, and I have to nurse her lying down because then I can roll away without disturbing her. Nighttime is particularly tough because PP can usually give her a bottle and then rock her to sleep. We might have to go up a couple times but she'll usually go down for the night. Not now. For the past few days we've had to co-sleep. I nurse her to sleep and then when she wakes up in the morning I can groggily offer her the boob again. I haven't slept soundly in awhile for fear of squashing her. I love to wake up and see her little face with its open triangle mouth, but I'd love to sleep sprawled out again.

So I started thinking well, I wonder if this is due to switching to breastfeeding from exclusively pumping...she prefers not to self soothe anymore. Shrug. She still sleeps pretty well considering she's only a little over 2 months so I wasn't too fussed about it. But then two days ago, after a long, long day of having to either carry her or nurse her, she let out the weirdest looking poop. For those who are squeamish or reading this as I eat their dinner, start scrolling down.........now. Ok it was the usual mustard color but with lots and lots of dark mucus and large bits of undigested milk, looked like styrofoam. And then an hour later, another poopy diaper just like it. Two hours later, another. I freaked of course. Pig seemed all right but I was convinced her intestinal lining was coming out. So I ran down to my laptop and started googling. As usual, a number of opinions. Some say it's due to a milk allergy and others suggest that it might be due to teething, the excess saliva and mucus swallowed is irritating the stomach and making it's way out into the diaper.

Without thinking, I had some milk several weeks ago and nothing happened. So, thought I, maybe I'll start introducing some dairy into my diet, slowly. I had a small ice cream sandwich and then a day later the weird poop. Wracked with guilt, I've gone back to no dairy. But then talked to my friend E whose daughter is 2 weeks older than the Pig and she's going through the same thing...fussy, mucus poop, etc... So could it be teething? Pig has so much saliva in her throat these days she's been coughing and choking on it. This morning, she threw up a several ounces of milk after gagging on it...but that could be due to the strong milk flow in the morning, I was seriously engorged.

PP is with Pig now and she seems to be soothed by sucking on his pinky. Sometimes she'll take her pacifier but lately that's not doing it for her. So it's gotta be teething right?

A Day with Pig

Today was an awesome day. January and 70 degrees out, forgetting that it's a result of global warming, it was utter bliss to be out in warm breeze, capris and flip flops.

7:00 am - Pig wakes up, Papa Pig staggers over to her room and brings her over to our bed to nurse. Pig conks out.

8:30 am - I wake up to pump what Pig couldn't finish and watch my Korean program. PP eats breakfast.

9:30 am - 10:00 am - Do dishes, clean pump parts, eat bowl of cereal with soymilk, check email, and put stamps on outgoing mail.

10:00 am - Go upstairs and change Pig's diaper. Pig's up bright eyed and bushy tailed.

10:00 am - 11:00 am - Workout and playtime, in her bouncy chair, tummy time on her activity mat and some dancing to music with mommy.

11:00 am - 12:00 pm - Get ready to go out to hangout with friend.

12:00 pm - 4:00 pm - Lunch at Cheesecake factory and stroll around the mall.

4:00 pm - 5:00 pm - Change clothes and nurse Pig.

5:30 pm - PP's home from work! I pump and PP plays with pig.

7:00 pm - Dinner time, small steaks, corn, mushrooms, and spinach salad.

7:00 pm - 8:00 pm - Pig naps.

8:00 pm - 9:00 pm - Playtime!

9:00 pm - 11:00 pm - PP gives Pig bottle and prepares her for bed.

11:00 pm - PP goes to bed.

12:00 am - Last pump before bed. Crash into bed!

Pig: 8 Weeks

Weight: 12 lbs 10 ozs

You know you're a full fledged mom when your little girl is comforted on your shoulder after being at the receiving end of 4 vaccinations. My poor little Pig had no idea of what was coming when she received four shots...huge adult-sized needles straight into both thighs. Yes, it's for her own good, but when I think of her chubby little body tensing up as each needle penetrated her skin and the instant tears that sprang into her eyes, I could just cry. One shot is bad enough but four one after the other...ugh, just squeezes my heart. But I felt a warm squishy feeling in my chest when I picked her up and she stopped crying. Her little head rested against my shoulder and she hiccuped and made little whimpering noises. I stood there in the doctor's office and realized that she implicitly trusted me to protect her and keep her safe. And I just thought, hey I'm a mom.